Child abuse? Yeah, there's an app for that.

You are no doubt familiar with Apple's latest ads for the iPhone:



Why would I need to pay hundreds of dollars to simply read a regular ol' book? Shut up Apple.

"Yep, there's an app for just about... anything." But child abuse? You betcha. I was listening to the Kevin and Bean show and they were interviewing the founder of http://www.krapps.com/. Krapps is a site that reviews Apple applications available for purchase in the Apple Store. The big difference between Krapps and the hundreds of other Apple fanboy-friendly review sites is that Krapps spotlights the apps in the Apple Store worth talking about: the bad ones.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those PCphiles either - but as bad as Microsoft advertising gets on occasion, it can't hold a candle to the double-barrel condescension Apple cranks out. The kind of stuff that makes consumers (the really stupid ones) believe that once they own an iPhone, they can cure cancer. Nope, no app for that yet. "If only I could get a MacBook Pro, then maybe I'll grow some talent too." No such luck. Well Apple has finally entered the world of user/programmer-generated apps and surprise, surprise... they can be just as buggy, poorly packaged and useless as their PC counterparts. The great thing about the Apple ones though is that the advertising overpromises on it to the nth degree.

So, back to child abuse. Yeah, there's an app for that too it turns out:



I've read the stories on Krapps and TechCrunch, and yes. That's in pretty poor taste. Both articles called attention to Apple's lack of vigilance in approving this one, and in Apple's defense, the app was pulled immediately when an angry mob stormed their castle gate. What kills me though are the slew of other ridiculous "apps" that Apple fanboys can walk around the office and impress their friends with.

Want to rate and compare your poop? There's an app for that, I [expletive] you not. From Krapps:

But this ain’t no ordinary poop journal … Apple only approves the ultimate
in tootsie roll tracking. Let’s take a tour:



Generate Poop: Choose from 20 different dookie-types which best represent
the look of your crapola (ex = Gorillas In The Mist, Ring Of Fire, Trail Mix,
etc.) … Select from 21 fragrances which best describe the smell of your sea
pickle (ex = Fish & Otter Waste, Fungus and Moss, Grandma’s Fur Coat, etc.)
… Then hit the Flush button to enter your do-do data.



My Poop Stats: Track your personal poopie stats like total number of
toilet twinkies taken, tonnage of waste generated and miles of toilet paper
consumed. Share details of your last lumber by email.
Poop Places:
Leveraging the iPhone’s GPS technology, you can keep track of your load’s
location history or use the real-time Global Poop Map &
Leader Board to view other users marking their territory around the world
(how’s that for social media!).



Trophy Room: A colon cobra competition where you have the chance to collect
four trophies … satisfies even the most competitive chocolate soldier.

Wow. Thank you Krapps.com for keeping us updated on Apple's newest life-improving, productivity-sustaining, cutting edge apps. I was wondering when they were going to put that newfangled GPS technology to work for mankind.

I have a feeling I'm going to be sharing a lot of Krapps reviews in the future. Awesome.